I am not a film snob, y'all just watch shitty movies!

The notion of what defines a 'good' and 'bad' movie is an intriguing one for me. Almost everyone can agree what a really bad movie is. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, for instance is a terrible movie. Anyone thinking otherwise needs to lay off the glue-sniffing. Youtube it, you'll thank me later. Okay, but what defines a good movie? A placement in IMDB's top 250? A 90+ percentage on rottentomatoes.com? A cult following? Box office success? Critical acclaim? I mean, come on...the last two almost always clash.

Then I'll throw another wrench into things, as I am a guy who often loves 'bad' movies, albeit for all the wrong reasons...you know, the 'so bad they're good' low-budget flicks. Lucio Fulci is one of my favorite directors, but I highly doubt any serious students of film would even acknowledge him as anything other than a hack (which he was, I make no apologies, but he has a singular tone and atmosphere to his movies that has never, and will never be replicated).

To me, there are a few important 'criteria'. 1) The perfect melding of all my favorite elements - score, lighting, cinematography and atmosphere - are incredibly important. I'd even take that mix over story or plot. 2) Pure love of film translated onto screen - what I mean is that a great director is just flaunting style with grace and bop-you-on-the-head panache, straddling the line between self-indulgence and unadulterated exuberance for the craft. Everything from Jodorowsky's El Topo to Fellini's 8½ qualify here. Watchmen is also a good example. 3) Rewatchability. Hey, I like The Usual Suspects as much as the next guy, but it loses it's appeal after one or two viewings. Give me Lynch or Cronenberg anyday over that kind of stuff.

And of course, 4) Emotional connection. The ones you tear up to, cover your eyes in terror, laugh at until your sides hurt. The ones with moments so real you want to kiss the director for making something so perfectly authentic. The films themselves don't have to be perfect, but the moments, the dialogue, even the characters themselves you could encounter on your next trip to the grocery store, or mirror your own memories/emotional states.

So that's a lot of things to love...and maybe that's why i love the medium so much - I am not limited to one genre or critical pigeonholing to enjoy what i watch. Film is art, folks, and is infinite in it's depth and possibility. I won't limit myself to Apatow comedies or Tarantino-esque action flicks.

OK, so here's an exercise: come up with a list of your 10 favorite movies. They don't have to be in order. Seems easy, no? Riiiight. I would be willing to bet that everyone (all 2 of you) would have entirely different lists.


Here's my current, most-likely-will-change-at-the-drop-of-a-hat list, not in order (minus Suspiria, which is undoubtedly my all-time fav movie):

Suspiria
Re-Animator
Rushmore
2001: A Space Odyssey
The Good, the Bad & the Ugly
8½
Mulholland Dr.
Magnolia
Zombi 2 (aka Zombie)
Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion

Here is a link to a great little article on top movie lists on Roger Ebert's Blog.

And yes, sadly, I'll judge you by your favorite movies ;) As Nick Hornby said in High Fidelity:

"It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party."

Upcoming Flicks

Pandorum (2009), starring Dennis Quaid

Trailer

Two crew members are stranded on a spacecraft and quickly - and horrifically - realize they are not alone. Two astronauts awaken in a hyper-sleep chamber aboard a seemingly abandoned spacecraft. It's pitch black, they are disoriented, and the only sound is a low rumble and creak from the belly of the ship. They can't remember anything: Who are they? What is their mission? With Lt. Payton staying behind to guide him via radio transmitter, Cpl. Bower ventures deep into the ship and begins to uncover a terrifying reality. Slowly the spacecraft's shocking, deadly secrets are revealed...and the astronauts find their own survival is more important than they could ever have imagined.

A little horror/sci-fi mix might be just what the doctor ordered.

Coincidence, or "Revelations on Vacation"

I recently had a conversation with someone who was reading a book based on the premise that there is no such thing as a coincidence. Or, that perhaps we should look at coincidence differently than a simple random act of the universe. I think it was one of those Deepak Chopra-type deals - you know what I mean - the 'new age' spirituality genre that has exploded in the last ten-ish years or so, probably bolstered by a population increasingly sceptical about organized religion. I have nothing against this 'genre', but color me a little bit skeptical.



So, it is a little disconcerting to me that this notion of coincidence not being random has become increasingly prominent in my life as of late - maybe it's because I am starting to push into my 30's and I'm trying to grasp at some sort of feasible future now that I am mature enough to actually deal with the whole concept...or perhaps it's because, with that idea always in the back of my mind, that I simply notice it more often and let it really sink in. I mean think about it - look back at the moment that you met your significant other. Or, for that matter, lost one. Do you consider it coincidence? In that light, is loving another person simply a random coincidence? I bet most would look back at it and consider it an event simply integrated into their life arc.

Life does not seem to me to be random, at least not always. Things happen in a definable, linear way (think about an obituary - looking back on a life makes sense in this respect). There are small occurances that shape your entire future, and huge ones that don't seem to impact us on a larger scale, and vice versa.

It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Recognize the coincidence and embrace it. I'm not saying there is some sort of over-lying pre-destiny, or that there is fate at play here - those that know me know I am deeply skeptical of all things 'spiritual' - but that by taking a moment to think about those happenings in your life you can really put things in perspective. And from there it is becoming easier for me to use moments of inspiration as way-points on this aforementioned linear life arc.

Coming 'round full circle, I guess there have been some epiphany-like times the last little while, and some real revelatory moments that in the past I either would not have noticed, or simply brushed off as blips on an otherwise straight-arrow existence. My vacation, and the context in which I left for it, has provided me with some time to reflect and also recognize some of these moments along the way. I sort of regret not taking more time to revel in these moments in my youth, as this is the real root of that familiar feeling of time flying by, especially through vacations or holidays or other such times.

Or...maybe you've read this and agree that I am just getting old and prone to these rather boring inner-reflections.

Or better yet, maybe you just happened upon this rant by coincidence...?

Lost-like bizarre aviation moments...

Just about to take off from here on vacation and had a thought. Does anyone else do this? When I sit down and get settled on the airplane, i take a look around and wonder if this would be the group of folks I'd crash-land on a deserted island with and be stuck fighting some damn locals or some shit. Or worse yet, get stuck on a rubber dinghy with, surrounded by shark-finned waves and wondering who we are gonna eat first.

For the most part, it never seems right...I mean, i'm looking for just the right blend of the strange and straight-laced to make it a pseudo-Lord of the Flies experience. Makes for an interesting flight...er...and perhaps an even more intriguing crash landing. I mean, if you're gonna go down, bring some fucked up folks with ya, i always say.

But hey, they say its safer than taking a car. Maybe I watch too much TV.

Upcoming Flicks

Moon (2009), starring Sam Rockwell.

Trailer

OK, so this one is currently running in select theatres, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway. I love this type of shit - the hard sci-fi like 2001 or Sunshine.

Synopsis from imdb: Sam Bell has a three year contract to work for Lunar Industries. For the contract's entire duration, he is the sole employee based at their lunar station. His primary job responsibility is to harvest and periodically rocket back to Earth supplies of helium-3, the current clean and abundant fuel used on Earth. There is no direct communication link available between the lunar station and Earth, so his only direct real-time interaction is with GERTY, the intelligent computer whose function is to attend to his day to day needs. With such little human contact and all of it indirect, he feels that three years is far too long to be so isolated; he knows he is beginning to hallucinate as the end of his three years approaches. All he wants is to return to Earth to be with his wife Tess and their infant daughter Eve, who was born just prior to his leaving for this job. With two weeks to go, he gets into an accident at one of the mechanical harvesters and is rendered unconscious. Injured, he awakens back at the station in the infirmary, he assumes assisted by GERTY. GERTY tells him that a rescue team named Eliza will come to the station to clean up the aftermath of the accident. After his recuperation, he takes an unauthorized trip back to the broken harvester, where he makes an unexpected discovery. Because of his find, he begins to doubt his sanity, then his true identity, then the company and GERTY's willingness to do what is best for him. Because of his resulting beliefs, his sole mission becomes how to get back to Earth on his own.

Looks amazing, and definitely one you have to see on the big screen.

Les Bison! Les Bison! AKA The Lazarus AD Guy Rocks the Pit

Way to title the post with an inside joke, hey? Pfft...


Anyway, I love spending an evening now and again checking out small venue metal/punk shows, and Edmonton lately has been a minor haven for a lot of great tours. As well, one of the great pleasures of my life is recommending new music to folks who otherwise wouldn't be exposed to it and who I know would appreciate it.

So here goes, a first post about great tunes you should seek out. Yes you.

Last night checked out Bison, Lazarus A.D. & Barnburner AKA the 'Baptized in Beer' Tour at the Starlite Room. Both my lady friend and I agreed it was a sweet show, with Barnburner being the surprise of the night and putting on a spirited and kickass performance in the opening slot...they were arguably the best of the three. Hard to top the sounds of Bison, however, who play a sort of stoner-progressive-metal (think Kylesa, Baroness, some parts of Mastodon) that is quickly becoming my new favorite genre. Lazarus AD stuck more to an old school, long haired, thrash metal template and were so tight it was almost unfathomable, despite some technical difficulties with the curtain that nearly blocked them totally from the crowd's view.

Bison & Barnburner are Canadian bands, and next time they come through E-Town (which they inevitably will) get off your lazy arse and go support some real burgeoning talent.

Talk About A Pandemic

Has anyone else noticed this? I mean, what in god's name is happening here? Seriously, guys. Grab your girlfriend's camera, creep their facebook, hell, even check the online self-shooting porn pages.

This face! It's everywhere. Girls from all walks of life seem to be succumbing to some strange virus which tightens their lips and, in worst case scenarios forces them to throw up a peace sign! WTF? This terrible affliction is actually bringing back the peace sign? Fathers everywhere take heed! Do not let your daughters fall victim to this strange disease!

Research suggests it's perhaps over-use of lip gloss, combined with the exhausting effects of vigorous texting and/or unwarranted consumption of Bud Lite Lime which is causing the bizarre deformity.

What exactly is this and why are girls from all over North America taking self pics with this EXACT look?? Am I that out of touch with the generation beneath me? I shudder to think what all my (future) daughters' photos will look like this.

Imagine a nice, subtle picture with grandma while little Missy-Lou is CHUCKING UP A FRAKKIN' PEACE SIGN and scrunching her face up like she was suddenly upwind of a port-o-potty at the Vans Warped Tour. Or how about her graduation picture? Wedding photos? Playboy shoot?


Oh boy, just think if maybe, just maybe, mom's old adage will come true..."if you keep doing that face it'll stick that way forever!"



Oh, and by the way, Collegehumour.com seems to be overflowing with these bad boys (OK, so most of the pics are from their lovely 'Cute College Girl of the Day' page, but whatever! These chicks are from all over the US!).

Ladies, keep away. It seems contagious!

Upcoming Flicks

At the top of my list of highly-anticipated upcoming films is Dario Argento's Giallo. Sure, Mother of Tears was a gigantic POS that barely did justice to Argento's Le Tre Madri Trilogy, but a return to giallo might be a compromise that I am willing to accept. I am not sure how I feel exactly about him naming the movie after a genre (akin to Tarantino/Rodriguez naming their double feature 'Grindhouse'), but if there's a living director that can get away with it, it's Dario.

Here's the trailer and a link below to what exactly giallo is:



The Giallo (this is a great, exhaustive article from Kinoeye)

"Is This Gonna Affect the Price of Beer?"

"Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's up?"
"The warranty on my liver."

I have to admit, sometimes being an Albertan has it's advantages. Take for instance the recent tax levy on liquor sold in the province. A case of beer went up nearly $5.00 in April, and the same for a 26oz of liquor. Hell yes I was as pissed off as the next citizen - "To Arms!" i said, "The people united will never be...", or something rousing and wholly jargonistic like that.

But now Premier Stelmach is taking it back, saying "it was something that I had a hard time agreeing with; it's been bothering me all that time."

Wha...? This in the face of Alberta's first deficit in 10+ years, and a global financial crisis? It's beer you're worried about?

Here's some things that have been bothering me: the lack of low-income housing, homelessness, ludicrous rent increases (with a sister set of regulations that is laughable at best), child welfare, knife attacks, gang-related crime, insane property tax increases (OK, so this is municipal, but fuck it, i'm adding it), our over-burdened infrastructure, increasingly frightening privatization of medicare and public resources, the Oilers not making the playoffs for 3 years running (not to mention nearly giving away Cogs, Smid & Penner)...

But regardless, I'll surely raise my glass to a decrease in the price of alcohol. Oh, and scraping the bottom of the barrel for votes too, I guess.

Have you ever heard of anything more quintessentially Canadian? Of course, raising the prices in the first place was near sacrilege, but i digress...

The Media & The Late, Great Carradine

This morning, as television stations and internet outlets everywhere are flooded with the coverage of the Micheal Jackson memorial, I wanted to take a step back and remember a great actor who has been lost amongst the rash of recent celebrity deaths - David Carradine. Don't get me wrong, MJ was as much a part of my childhood as anyone and I am certainly a tad nostalgic, and I can't say enough about the impact of Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett...but for shit sake! Recent buzz suggests Carradine was murdered. Murdered people, in a Thai hotel! And how unbelievably sad and humiliating for a guy who has struggled throughout a lengthy career virtually unnoticed outside of Kung Fu...and who only recently seemed to be getting the recognition he rightly deserved with his Tarantino connection.

Anyway, I could go on about the MJ thing, but I truly think its a sad day and won't get into it. But still...doesn't it seem odd that Carradine died so suspiciously and tragically and that there is so little out there about it? *sigh* With respect for the family, I understand the silence, and await the next tidbit of info on this great actor with baited breath.

And so, I decided i'd throw my own little memorial for Mr. Carradine and highlight two of his films I love and will remember him by.

Q, The Winged Serpent



The film's premise is that the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl, the "winged serpent", has been resurrected by a cult in modern New York City and is flying about, snatching people off the skyscrapers. Carradine and Roundtree play police detectives investigating the sudden rash of suspicious deaths, disappearances and dismemberings. Meanwhile a petty criminal (Moriarty), on the run after a failed robbery, accidentally discovers the creature's lair and tries to blackmail the city into paying for the information (source: Wiki).

Michael Moriarty, Carradine & Richard Roundtree folks. Get on this.

Death Race 2000



In the year 2000 the United States has been destroyed by a financial crisis and a military coup. Political parties have collapsed into a single Bipartisan Party, which also fulfills the religious functions of a unified church and state. The resulting fascist police state, the United Provinces, is headed by the cult figure "Mr. President" (Sandy McCallum). The people are kept satisfied through a stream of gory gladiatorial entertainment, which includes the bloody spectacle the Transcontinental Road Race, depicted as a symbol of American values and way of life. The coast-to-coast, 3 day race is run on public roads, and points are scored not just for speed, but for the number of innocent pedestrians struck and killed (Source: Wiki).

Arguably Carradine's best and most notoroious role.

There are more, and many. Check out his earlier stuff. We lost a legend, RIP.

Campañeros (1970)

There's a certain genius at play in the Spaghetti Westerns of Sergio Corbucci - he has a knack for grungy edginess, characters and personalities that practically pop out of the screen, and classic dusty backdrops that are as authentic as they are mesmerizing.

Campañeros is no exception...and good grief - Jack Palance as a pot-smoking bandit with a bad Scottish accent? Franco Nero a Swedish cowboy? Tomas Milian as a fast-talking Mexican? Money, folks ...money. Hell, i'd watch a cast like that read bible passages in latin for two hours. Add to the mix a whole Mexican-Zapatista storyline and you've got a fun, campy, balls-out rootin', shootin' thrill ride. And, of course, you have to squeeze in a requisite and frankly awesome score by Ennio Morricone, who's work is instantly recognizable and practically typifies the genre in and of itself.

There's also some great chemistry between the two leads, Nero and Milian. They play well off each other, even when you hear stories of on-set egos and competition for stardom. I think it's what makes it work, as the characters are kind of competing on-screen as well...but it comes off as more playful than anything. Now that i reflect, the entire film has a playful air to it. It just begs you to have a blast with it. And damn, I sure got caught up.

Corbucci's directoral canon also includes the amazing Django (also starring nero) and The Great Silence, both landmarks in the exploitative western genre. Not only was he prolific, but Corbucci is also generally accepted to be one of the greatest directors of the Spaghetti Western, second only to perhaps Leone, and is a vastly underrated and underseen maestro.

Blue Underground's treatment as always is spot on - despite the fact that some of the English dubbing was lost and some scenes had to be subtitled over the original Italian. The switch between the two is hardly noticeable, and even the dubbing is really spot on which is a rarity for these types of films (you can find it here: Blue Underground).

He Is Loosed Upon the Land...

Ah yes, the inaugural post; the infant testament of a deranged mind wandering loose and alone in his living room, waiting for just the right outlet to blurt out his selfish views on movies, music, life, love and just about anything else he feels pertinent to his day-to-day existence.

I guess somewhere along the line I felt I had something to say, or at the very least, felt the need to write some shit down that i would otherwise cram away thoughtlessly. And yes, before you put up that hand to ask, I am light-years behind. But i guess they all started somewhere.

So is it a journal? A blow-by-blow of my life? Mere incomprehensible ranting? Or simply a collection of things that rattle around in this twisted cranium of mine?

I think I'll go with: E. All of the above. Mostly though, this will be a platform (soapbox?) for my views, reviews, outlooks and general literary mayhem in regards to my primary love in life: movies - especially the oddities, the bizarre, the hairy and horrible, the art-house and shit-house, the left-behind and underappreciated.

Enjoy.